To Be King
by ozxiii
Summary: To be king means many things. It means to sacrifice, it means to be martyr. For Hao, it means to be alone for all of eternity. For Yoh, it means losing half of himself. Neither of them are ready to say goodbye, so instead they say, "perhaps..." in pseudo promise. Hao and Yoh share one last meeting before...(A/N: this isn't that sad, I promise!) Sort of sequel to 'An After Thought.'


**Sort of Sequel to 'An After Thought'**

**A/N: Not even two days ago, I announced that I am discontinuing my two chaptered stories and I apologize greatly. Though, if any of you watch How I Met Your Mother, you'll know that Robin says that the moment you decide to end something, you get graduation goggles. So I suppose this story is the result of that. I'm not ready to stop writing fanfiction for Yoh and Hao, I never will be, but the end of my two chaptered stories **_**really**_** made me want to give you guys an apology gift. So here it is…**

* * *

In the empty field, a wind picked up and swirled, bringing dust up and dead leaves. Amidst the quiet calm, the sun rose and the moon shrank behind the horizon a little too quickly to be real. The sky shifted like a curtain being drawn and suddenly it was day. When a figure appeared in the middle of the field, the curtain was drawn again and it was night.

Time was too fast. That was the first clue.

Yoh looked around, seeing the ever changing sky and feeling the wind die down. Leaves fell from the trees and new ones replaced them just as fast as the sky would change. Old leaves crumpled and withered on the ground and disintegrated much faster. Occasionally, the leaves would ride the winds before disappearing mid-flight.

The second clue was the unnatural wind that moved everything but himself.

Yoh was perfectly still, a constant in the ever changing environment. Another quick glance around, and it was daytime again. Yoh took in the cool autumn air, breathing deeply. Then, with a fourth draw of the curtain sky, the seasons changed. Exhaling, Yoh dispelled the autumn air and took in a much cooler breathe. It was winter now. Yoh did not feel cold though. He still felt the warmth of summer on his skin; of course, his body was still at home and it was summer in Japan. In this dream world, the time moved so fast that it was already winter, but Yoh was still connected to his body enough to feel reality. No wonder why he was a constant.

Winter was the last clue; this was not just a dream. This was a visit.

Time suddenly slowed and the sky curtain inched across, bringing with it the stars. Yoh expected that as the curtain drew to a close, it would remained that way instead of moving on to daytime.

Time moved at the pace of who controlled it. The wind was strong and gentle like the one who created it. Winter was cold, lonely and desolate, reflecting his moods. From out of the shadows, Hao stepped into the field.

_Otouto. _

_Aniki._

The exchange was wordless because words weren't necessary. In these dreams, they did not need to speak, they only needed to think.

_It's been a long time, has it not?_

Hao examined his brother, looking at him through eyes that had not aged since the day he had become king. The same, however, could not be said for Yoh. While Hao stayed young, hair still shining and skin still young, Yoh had aged. He was by no means, an old man, but he looked far different from his sixteen year old self. Yoh was taller, skin rougher and calloused, and hair longer… like Hao's.

_Too long. What happened? You promised we'd talk.*_

Yoh's thoughts were sad, and longing. He did not expect Hao to apologize for missing their promised meeting from years ago, but he waited for Hao to answer his question. What _had _happened to keep Hao from meeting him all those years ago? It was unlike the younger (or was it older? Hao was older, _much older_, although he didn't look it) to break a promise like that. Hao was a man of his word.

_There were unforeseen… complications._

The wind picked up again, whipping dead leaves and dirt into the air again. Debris collided noiselessly and then quickly died down again. Of course Hao didn't apologize, like Yoh expected.

_Forgive me?_

It was so like him to ask for forgiveness without an apology. Hao very much liked to be in control without ever showing that he was wrong. He wanted Yoh's forgiveness, but did not want to acknowledge his broken promise. Very well then.

_Of course I forgive you. I was just worried._

There was still no sound, not of the wind flying through the trees, not of the rustling grass. Everything was mute, but it was almost as if Hao was chuckling soundlessly. A smile played at his brother's lips and Yoh couldn't help but join in.

_You worry needlessly, Yoh. I am King of the Stars, there is nothing that can hurt me._

Hao gestured to the sky and each star seemed to have twinkled, like they were subjects bowing to their king. Yoh nodded and tilted his head to the sky to admire the bright stars. They were unworldly.

_I have… a message, but first… a question._

Hao chose his words carefully and Yoh gazed at his brother again, taking in the sight of him. A rush of feelings from five years ago overcame him and he was hit with the nostalgia and longing for the Shaman Tournament. An ache began to build in his heart.

_You… you have a son now. _

It wasn't the question. Yoh waited patiently for Hao to continue.

_Is he… _

_He is Anna's._

_No, that's not it, I want to know, is he… aware of me?_

It was Yoh's turn to chuckle. The aching disappeared and was replaced by a warmth at the thought of his son. A smile of ease and relaxation spread across his face. This was the expression that belonged on Yoh's face.

_Of his uncle the Shaman King? Yes, Hana is very much aware of the most powerful Shaman. He's in awe that he's related to you and although, he himself wants to be the most powerful shaman, he's set me as his goal. He wants to beat me first before moving on to you…_

His thoughts trailed off.

_I'm travelling right now. I'm at the main Asakura household to pay my respects, but tomorrow I should be leaving Japan. Anna and I are going to America to find Silva, he tells us that there is someone we must meet. Do you know who it is?_

Hao ponders for a moment before he laughs. Out loud.

_Yes, yes I do. She's…_

_She?_

_Yes, she. She's quite something. _

_Should I be worried?_

_More for your son.** _

Yoh makes a face, but continues back where he left off before the tangent.

_Anna and I have been travelling so long that… it's been a long time since we've seen Hana. Tamao's been taking care of him, and it's been working out, but Hana's got this idea in his head that he has to beat me, like he'll never get anywhere if he doesn't defeat me first… or worse. Tamao thinks that Hana has this idea that Anna and I left him because he's too weak. Amidamaru's with him, they're both training together, so I suppose he's safe, and Amidamaru probably denies anything about us abandoning him because we haven't abandoned him… but I still worry._

_Yoh, at his age, you were much more to worry about._

_But Hana doesn't have a Shaman Tournament to partake in, and my parents and grandparents were always there. _

_You know he can take care of himself, you know you're redirecting your worry._

_You're… you're right, as always._

Hao smiles knowingly.

_I'm flattered you're worried about me Yoh, even if it's unnecessary._

_Can I help that I worry about my brother the Shaman King? There must be some occupation hazards._

Yoh chuckles at his own joke.

_Truth be told, I might retire from this job a little early than planned._

Yoh stops mid laugh and stares back at Hao, trying to understand what his brother has just said.

_Being King is… everything that I wanted and more, but there are things… things that I am not ready to handle, things that no one will ever be ready for. _

_Do you mean… you are going to move on? Are you going to return to the Great Spirit?_

Hao shakes his head, a puzzling look on his face as if he is trying to explain something immensely complex and confusing.

_My spirit does not return to the Great Spirit Yoh. That is the price for becoming King. _

Yoh pales because he knows what not returning to the Great Spirit means. To become king means to never be reunited with the spirits of your friends or family. It means to be forever in solitude and loneliness. What a terrible fate it must be.

_Then where do you go? What do you mean 'retire from this job?'_

_I return to the sky. I become a star. _

_Then…all… all the stars, were they were once kings? Hao, you-_

_Are the king of many past kings. To be King of the Stars means to join the past greats and to console them in their loneliness. The night sky is vast and still, largely empty. The stars are lonely; they too are unable to see their loved ones again, they watch as the world changes, as their kingdom is ruled by another. So the current king, when leaving the throne, joins the stars to fill the sky a little more._

_You've always loved the stars._

_We are kindred spirits. We are both lonely._

_Is this the message you wanted to tell me? Is this… Goodbye?_

Hao doesn't say anything, unsure of what reply to give next.

_Yoh, it's not that simple. There are many things that I cannot explain to you, and not because you will not understand, but because I myself do not understand it yet. _

_Tell me if this is goodbye._

_There are still many intricacies that I must work out before I leave the crown._

"TELL ME IF THIS IS GOODBYE!"

Yoh yells. He is not thinking any more, he takes quick steps and reaches Hao, grabbing his brother by the red collar of his kimono. He is breathing heavily and his eyebrows are drawn tightly together in frustration. His forehead is creased and his mouth is pulled into a tight frown. Still, Hao is calm and refuses to look back at his brother. The pair is quiet again, and nothing is heard except for Yoh's heavy breathing.

_I am tired, Yoh. I am an old soul that should move on. Maybe I won't leave the throne until my five hundred years reign is over, but either way, I will join the stars in the sky. _

Yoh drops his brother, letting the soft, red fabric fall from his grasp. He tries for another question.

_Why… do you- do the kings become stars? Why don't they return to the Great Spirit?_

_Because we must watch the kingdom we once ruled. We watch our successors and their reign, but mostly, I think it's because the Great Spirit won't accept us. We are equals to the Great Spirit, and for that, it will not let us return to it._

_Then... this _is_ goodbye._

Knees giving out, Yoh drops to the grass, he is too weak to hold himself up any longer. He feels a hand placed on his shoulder and then the fabric of Hao's kimono wrapping around him. Yoh looks up to see his brother wearing only the white layer underneath. With the kimono draped around his shoulder, Yoh pulls it closer to him, feeling the embrace his brother cannot give him.

_We only met during the tournament, but it was like a void was filled. We are different people, you've acknowledged it yourself, but we are still two halves of the same whole… and then you disappeared. You showed up once before, and you promised we'd talk again, but you broke that promise… You've been gone so long, Hao. Now five years after our last meeting, here you are saying goodbye. Hao, I've missed you. _

Hao does not reply. He takes a step back, away from Yoh, towards the shadows.

_Must all our meetings be to say goodbye? _

_It's not like that! _

Hao was torn, there was so much that he wanted to tell his brother and so much that he wanted to do in that moment.

_Then tell me what this is._

He didn't want to get Yoh's hopes up. There were still many things that Hao didn't understand as his fate as king and he was not sure if he was really going to be able to do what he was thinking… Hao wasn't really sure if he wanted to even make that decision…

_We are… two halves of the same whole, with that comes… certain… complexities. _

Hao chose his words very carefully. He had to make his thoughts as clear as he could but not lead Yoh on to believe in something that might not happen. Hao wasn't sure if this was even possible.

_The Great Spirit may recognize that you are not fully there. That is to say, the Great Spirit may also acknowledge your soul as only half of a whole._

_And this means…_

Yoh's grip on the kimono tightens, drawing the fabric closer and tighter around him, as he encouraged Hao to continue. He watched as Hao fidgeted. _Fidgeting._ Hao never did that. It was unlike him. It showed… he was uncertain. Hao. Uncertain… the things that Yoh thought he would never see.

_Yoh, you have the ability to be reborn, yes._

Yoh nodded, not that Hao needed the confirmation; it had been a statement, not a question. Hao took a minute to gather his thoughts again. The wind picked up and the trees swayed.

_Then there may be a place for me in the Great Spirit after all. _

A sad, unsure smile on Hao's face. Yoh looks up at his brother, hoping that what he is hearing is real.

_The other kings… they never left half of themselves behind. Lucky I have you as my otouto, don't I?_

_Do you mean…?_

There were so many things that Hao didn't explain. He wasn't sure of how this would play out. Surely this idea went against _some_ rule the Great Spirit had in which souls returned to it and how reincarnation would work…. But then, he was The Great Hao Asakura. He had overcome death and nature. He was an old and tired soul, but maybe it wasn't time to join the stars quite yet.

_Perhaps there will be a lifetime in which we will meet again._

_Perhaps?_

Yoh wanted a definite answer, one that Hao cannot give him. Taking another step back, Hao enters the shadows.

_Wait, your Kimono-_

_A gift. Take care Yoh._

Hao takes another step into the shadows, and Yoh wants to prolong the moment, or at the very least, get an answer; a promise to meet again. Something… anything… just a statement that Yoh can hold onto for hope.

_Will I ever see you again?_

Hao turns towards the shadows and smiles over his shoulder. He makes up his mind then that if he is given the chance, then he will choose family over the company of the stars.

Disappearing into the shadows, Yoh is left alone in the field, but only for a moment. Suddenly, his eyes are open and Yoh is awake, breathing heavily. The sun is rising outside, time returning to its normal pace. Yoh faintly registers in his mind that he feels the soft silk of Hao's red kimono instead of his own covers. This world is full of sound, unlike the dream world… but all Yoh hears is Hao's voice ringing in his ears.

_One day._

* * *

_*Refer to my story "An After Thought," when Hao promised Yoh that brothers talked, so they would meet again... also, no pun intended with the hair thing._

_**Hao's referring to Anna the Itako the third. That is, Yoh and Anna were called by Silva to meet their son's fiancé. _

_About the story__: A lot of this is my own… uh, ideas. I have no idea what happens to the Shaman King after their five hundred year reign, I just thought this was a clever little idea since I've always thought that Hao thinks the stars are lonely and that Hao belongs with the stars. It's also a little bit of a pun on my one shot "I want to be a star!" in which Yoh thinks being a star will get Hao's attention (SHAMELESS ADVERTISING). Not to mention, _OF COURSE_ Hao being Hao would find a loophole in all this and cheat death. Would you expect any less from him?_

_Er, there's just a lot of thought that I put into little things about this fic, like, minor things, but I couldn't get them out of my head…_

_Five points (and maybe a oneshot dedicated to you) if you can guess which line in in this fic is my favourite line. Mwuahahaha. _

**A/N: So how was that as an apology gift? I hope you guys enjoyed it, even If I made you sit through something like 2400 words of Yoh and Hao just talking… well, thinking. Let me know what you guys think, because… I'm strangely satisfied with my writing in this, that is, satisfied for not thoroughly editing. Anyway, I hope to write at least one more thing before the end of this year. No promises though! **


End file.
